Twin Peaks: I Have Absolutely No Idea What’s Going On

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TWIN PEAKS runs neck and neck for “most important TV series of the 1990s” alongside The Simpsons. Each program defined the decade in which they were created, in their own way. Completely different, and seemingly impossible to imagine actually making it to broadcast, both shows caught people with a breath of fresh air, or a sock to the stomach.

For our recasting, we tried to stick with characters found only the first season–and frankly we didn’t catch every one. A handful of our choices are no-brainers, and one or two will probably cause some furring of brows in a vain attempt to understand our reasoning. There will be a follow-up post, however, with some of the settings, incidentals, and other interesting touches that David Lynch and Mark Frost built into the show, and how they might be remixed using The Simpsons.

Sherri as Laura Palmer

Sherri as Laura Palmer
(Sheryl Lee)
She’s full of secrets, such as
“My sister likes you.”

Fox Mulder as Dale Cooper

Fox Mulder as Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan)
The unsolved mysteries of
‘Unsolved Mysteries!’

The Simpsons outlasted Twin Peaks’ short 2 season run, but longevity isn’t the same as impact, and the fact that Showtime has brought the series back only shows how unforgettable it was. Since it went off the air, Twin Peaks’ impact on television has proved lasting and dynamic, from its popularity leading to the creation of shows like X-Files and Northern Exposure, to the many many times it has been parodied and alluded to on other programs and in other media.

Bait Shop Clerk as Pete

Bait shop geezer as
Pete Martell (Jack Nance)
If you ask me, and most people do, she’s dead, wrapped in plastic.

Lenny as Sheriff Truman

Lenny as Harry Truman (Michael Ontkean)
“…I love you Sheriff Truman.”
Lenny, like Harry, might be the most loved man in their respective towns.

Twin Peaks, like The Simpsons, proved the value of giving idiosyncratic creators freedom. Like I LOVE LUCY, and THE TWILIGHT ZONE before it, many hands work to make a television program, but these succeeded because of the vision and instinct of their auteur directors. Much of modern small screen programing is now built around this format (and again, Twin Peaks has come back, specifically thanks to that evolution).

Homer as Leo Johnson

Homer Simpson as Leo Johnson
(Eric Da Re)
Homer needs a new pair of Chili boots!

Lurleen Lumpkin as Shelly Johnson

Lurleen Lumpkin as Shelly Johnson (Madchen Amick)
Waitresses in diners are not often compared to goddesses.

The Fox Network has always been willing to take chances on strange ideas, to varying degrees of success. This is personified most by The X-Files, but also with programs like the self-destructing sitcom GET A LIFE from Chris Elliott and David Mirkin, and David E. Kelley’s magical realist office-based fairy tale ALLY McBEAL, among others. The Simpsons itself now invites guest auteurs and artists in, giving them free rein to create the show’s opening credit sequence.

Lionel Hutz as Leland Palmer

Lionel Hutz as Leland Palmer (Ray Wise)
Dumpster Fire Walk With Me.

Hank Scoripio as Ben Horne

Hank Scorpio as Benjamin Horne
(Richard Beymer)

“Sometimes the urge to do bad is nearly overpowering.”

Herman as Mike (the one armed man)

Herman as Philip Gerard AKA Mike AKA “The One-Armed Man” (Al Strobel)
As soon as BOB gets here the party will begin.

Raving Derelict as Bob

Raving Derelict as
BOB (Frank Silva)
Sometimes raving derelicts
make the most sense.

Crazy Cat lady as Log Lady

The Cat Lady as The Log Lady
(Catherine Coulson)

…can anyone who loves trees that much really be crazy?

Old Jewish Man as Waiter

The Old Jewish Man as
The Waiter (Hank Worden)

♪The old gray waiter ain’t what he used to be♪

Tall Man as The Giant

The Very Tall Man as
The Giant (Carel Struyken)
Do you find something ominous about my looming appearance?

Handsome Pete as The Man from Another Place

Handsome Pete as
The Man from Another Place
(Michael Anderson)
“.sruoh rof gnicnad eb ll’eh ,rrraD”

I like Miguel Ferrer because he voiced Death on Adventure Time. RIP

Rex Banner as Agent Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer)
He won’t hit you like Rex, but Albert probably won’t kiss you goodbye either.

Grandpa as Gordon Cole

Grandpa as Agent Gordon Cole
(David Lynch)
“FRENCH TOAST, PLEASE!”

Jessica L as Audrey H

Jessica Lovejoy as
Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn)

Both expelled from boarding school, probably.

Dolph as Bobby Briggs

Dolph as Bobby Briggs
(Dana Ashbrook)
“Rebellion in a young man your age is a necessary fact of life, and, candidly, a sign of strength.”

Library boy as James Hurley

That boy who works in the library
as James Hurley

(James Marshall)
“If only someone could tame him.”

Laura Powers as Donna Hayward

Laura Powers as Donna Hayward
(Lara Flynn Boyle)
Her upbringing was painfully strict.

Samantha Stanky as Lucy Moran

Samantha Stanky as Lucy Moran
(Kimmy Robertson)

Well aware of the lackluster police force.

Squeaky Voiced Teen as Dep Andy Brennan

Squeaky Voiced Teen as
Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz)
If he had a girlfriend, she’d kill him.

Apu as Hawk

Apu as Deputy Hawk
(Michael Horse)
I am Apu Nahasapeemapetilon,
I play Tommy Hill.

Hans Moleman as Mayor Milford

Hans Moleman as Mayor Milford
(John Boylan)

Being Mayor has ruined my life,
I’m 31 years old!

Edna as Nadine Hurley

Edna Krabappel as Nadine Hurley
(Wendy Robie)

Both should probably be spending less time around schools.

Skinner as Big Ed Hurley

Principal Skinner as “Big Ed”
Hurley (Everett McGill)

“To poor decisions.”

Ruth Powers as Norma Jennings

Ruth Powers as Norma Jennings
(Peggy Lipton)

When my husband went to jail he took all my money, along with the car, my youth, my faith in mankind.

Marge as Sarah Palmer

Marge as Sarah Palmer
(Grace Zabriskie)
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cookie Kwan as Josie Packard

Cookie Kwan as Josie Packard (Joan Chen)
Unlike Josie, Cookie wears her menace like a red blazer, but they’re both dangerous.

Agnes Skinner as Catherine Martell

Agnes Skinner as Catherine Martell
(Piper Laurie)

You’re not principal of the saw mill, and you never will be.

Terri as Madeline

Terri as “Maddy” Ferguson (Sheryl Lee)
“Oooh twins! Which one’s the evil one?”

Ralph has Johnny Horne

Ralph as Johnny Horne
(Robert Bauer)
Lost Boy

Marvin Monro as Dr Jacobie

Dr. Marvin Monroe as Dr. Jacoby 
(Russ Tamblyn)

The problems of our entire society are of a sexual nature, and can be solved with
cartoon violence.

DrHibbert as Doc Hayward

Dr. Hibbert as Dr. Hayward (Warren Frost)
This comparison only works with Classic Era Hibbert.

Luann as Betty Briggs

Maude as Betty Briggs
(Charlotte Stewart)
A spiritual woman, loving to her family, and a bit out of touch.

Commandant as Major Briggs

Rommelwood Commandant as Major Briggs (Don Davis)
Surprisingly progressive considering his work.

Bell as Blackie

Belle as Blackie (Victoria Catlin)
I do love when you drop by, Agent Cooper…

Jacques as Jean Renault

Jacques as Jean Renault
(Michael Parks)
Getting by on their French accents and amorality.

Moe as Jacques Renault

Moe as Jacques Renault (Walter Olkewicz)
Who would have thought a whale could be so heavy? Ah cheese it, the Feds!

Snake as Hank

Snake as Hank Jennings (Chris Mulkey)
Paying his debt to society, as honestly as he pays off his student loans.

Moe as Jacques Renault

Original Sparkle as Ronette Pulaski 
(Phoebe Augustine)

You don’t want to know what happened to the Original Sparkle.

Disco Stu as Jerry Horne (David P. Kelly)
Stu, like Jerry, is a man with very specific tastes and aesthetics.

We hoped you like our take on Twin Peaks. If you have other ideas for who should play who, or characters we should have included, please put them in the comments below.

I’ll be back soon with a longer essay about the show, and a few more gifs to connect some of the places in Twin Peaks (both real and metaphysical) to the town of Springfield.

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Posted in Classic Simpsons, Cultural Impact, gifs, recasting, The Simpsons, TV | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

April Trivia Recap / Next Show Date!

April means two things in Arizona: Spring weather hanging on for a bow, and any excuse for a festival before the Sun fries us all. Oh, and trivia at The Coronado too of course!

April 29th was a fantastic night on the patio, we had a full house, with some incredibly knowledgeable teams, and Diana came up with an awesome mid-show solo competition…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

A Family Feud inspired survey/guess contest about some key Simpsons opinions: Funniest Episode*, Most Romantic Episode**, Most Attractive***, Best Musical Guest****, Best Homer Job (non-powerplant)*****.

Here’s the night’s team winners:

Fancy Walkers came in 1st place with 94 points!
Rank Amateurs Compared to Dr. Colossus did a pro job getting 92 points at 2nd place!
And, 3rd place went to Stop Stop He’s Already Dead with an 11 point gap for 81 total!

Here’s some sample questions to test yourself against (highlight in the parenthesis to see the answer):

  • In Bart on the Road, Martin falls asleep in the car and awakes to see what he believes is Canada’s vast fields of this. (Corn)
  • As shown in Mother Simpson, what rude inscription is on the tombstone Patty and Selma bought for Homer? (We Are Richer for Having Lost Him)
  • Whacking Day started as an excuse to use violence against what group of people?
    (The Irish)
  • In the episode “A Star is Burns,” what three people are shown taking a football to the groin? (Hans Moleman, Jay Sherman, George C. Scott)
come back!

Who is this?
(Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo)

We also introduced a new prize for the winner of each month’s Best Team Name contest. They now get to pick the theme for the next trivia show, in April The Electrified Fooling Machines have chosen Bi-Mon Sci-Fi-Con for the June trivia contest!

We’re taking May off to celebrate Phoenix Comicon, but we’ll be back at The Coronado on Saturday June 3rd for our next live trivia show!

June 2017 trivia

According to our exhaustive survey:
* You Only Move Twice
**The Way We Was
***Mindy Simmons
****Michael Jackson
*****Mr. Plow
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Coming Soon: Diane, 11:30 a.m., February Twenty-fourth…

That Gum You Like is Going to Come Back in Style…

Twin Peaks Poster Part9 (gif branded)

There’s been a lot of renewed interest in the early 1990s TV show Twin Peaks. I remember watching it in first run, friends and I spent hours puzzling over it mystery and obscure symbolism. I got to introduce my Film Cricket partner Diana to the show a couple years ago, and it is actually one of the big inspirations for this site.

Flim Springfield presents Cypress Creek, coming soon, hopefully before the sequel series premiers on Showtime!

twin-peaks-entertainment-weekly-simpsonized

from Entertainment Weekly,
via WelcomeToTwinPeaks.com

 

Vintage Simpsons TP recasting

(We’re not the first to think of this by a longshot.)

 

Twin Peaks Poster Part9point5 (jumpscare)

(jumpscare edit)

Check back, hmmm, let’s say next week.

Posted in Classic Simpsons, coming soon, Contemporary, Cultural Impact, fan art, simpsons in the news,, The Simpsons, TV | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Grind Corps: Public Service Shows of Limited Appeal (We’re on a podcast)!

KBBL at Night.jpg

The Simpsons recently celebrated their 30th anniversary–who’d think we’d be remembering 10 seasons of a TV show that weant off the air 20 years ago with such fondness and fervency–and to commemorate the occasion we were invited to be guests on the chatty and eclectic GRIND CORPS podcast.

We cover a lot of favorite topics, including recasting movies, best Simpsons episodes and characters, as well as non-Simpsons topics like record collecting, video games/game music, Record Store Day, and guilty pleasures such as the music of Eddie Money.

Tune in below, and enjoy:

 

JohnnyGrind & Frost

Thanks again for having us
Johnny Grind, and Mr. Frost!

Posted in Classic Simpsons, Cultural Impact, podcasts, The Simpsons | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Legion Reboot: Vintage Simpsons Recasting

Before the high end toy market exploded in the 2000s, dedicated fans would create their own custom figures with super glue, model paint, discarded bits and pieces from broken toys, even molding their own parts. With some time and determination, GI Joes became the classic Star Trek cast, Transformer parts and X-Men dolls could be fused to make Robocop, even the terrible Filmation Ghostbusters cartoon car (not the one based on the movies) could be hacked into a cool Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It was IRL recasting at it’s most DIY.

Which brings us to Livermore California…

Livermore California has two claims to fame. The Lawrence Livermore Nuclear Laboratory and the longest continuously burning light bulb known to man. It’s not the kind of place you would expect a killer comic store, but Fantasy Books and Games is an entertainment oasis.

and The Simpsons as The Legion of Superheroes.

LOSH and Simpsons

Jim MacQuarrie recently reposted a great reminiscence Still the Geekiest Thing Ever! about his discovery of one fan’s quest to cleverly recast as many Springfieldians as he could, through repainted action figures, as members of DC Comics’ team of Teens From the Future, the Legion of Superheroes.

Simpsons as LoSH

(picture from Atomic Junk Shop)

Check out the post for a bevy of pictures of the repainted Simpsons toys, and the story behind the project’s creator, Greg White.

Atomic Junk Shop is a great blog, its contributors are long time fans of comics, sci-fi, genre media who’ve been studying the stuff for years, and love what they’re writing about. It isn’t clogged with clickbait McNews, instead relying on passion, positivity, and knowledge to engage readers. The site regularly has in-depth articles about vintage pulps, obscure comics history, genre TV and books, overlooked stories, and recommendations for new work worth keeping an eye out for. They also post new episodes of House To Astonish, a Scottish podcast that is just about the best comics news, reviews, and fun you can download.

Posted in Classic Simpsons, comic books, fan art, simpsons in the news,, recasting, The Simpsons | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Simpsons Index: The Rock Bottom Interview

awe crap.

Tonight on
Rock Bottom

Last month, FLIM Springfield was pleased as punch to receive a box of surprise gifts all the way from Australia, from the good folks at The Simpsons Index! The Index is a blog and podcast working to review and catalogue on a spreadsheet, every Simpsons episode! They reviewed one of my season one favorites, BART THE GENERAL on a recent edition–all that and cool prizes too.

They were also brave enough to answer our hard hitting fan questionnaire. We learned a about their love of The Simpsons, and even some neat stuff about Australian Easter traditions. There’s a lot here from The Simpsons Index nine contributors, get ready to see if they crack under the pressure . . .

Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?” …Tell us who you are, and what you do?

-I’m Elliot Jay O’Neill, I’m the creator and host of “The Simpsons Index”.

Danny Rosewell: I’m a locksmith, and I’m a locksmith. Or a guitar teacher-slash-hero-to-thousands.

Jordan Frost: I’m Jordan, I’m late to the Simpson’s fraternity as I wasn’t allowed to watch it as a kid. I had a lot of catching up to do and I’ve mainly focused on seasons up to 12. I work for a bank and my job title tells you nothing except for that I’m a wanker. 

BT Calloway: Retail monkey and chair moistener from sector 7G. Co-writer of web series DAVE PLUS ONE (available on youtube as well) and writer/director of upcoming podcast project Pulp Fury Radio (for more info and currently zero content) if we ever get that going.

Phil Calloway: Phil, I worked with Ben & Elliot on a rom-com web series last year called “Dave Plus One”. We had such a blast working together that when Elliot asked me to occasionally drop in , drink beer and chat about the Simpsons. I was like Hell Yes! In my normal life I work as an editor in reality TV.

Dave Todd: My name is Dave, rather than tell you how I ended up like this I’ll just say ‘it’s all a rich tapestry’. I’m in computer sales at a major electrical goods store & I have used both the words embiggens & cromulent in a sales pitch.

Elliot Jay O'Neill.jpg

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Elliot Jay O’Neill

“It happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the 80s” …When did you first watch The Simpsons? What early episode/joke do you remember?

Clare RR: I watched the Simpsons from a young age, probably before I started school. I remember absolutely loving the episode “Bart the General” when I first saw it as a child, though I think that was less about the jokes and more about the fact that Bart had a kickass tree house and organized an awesome water balloon fight. Also there were cupcakes.

Liz: I have a vague recollection of first watching the Simpsons on the Tracy Ullman Show. I would have been about 6 years old but distinctly remember the “Rock-a-bye-baby” song Marge sings to Maggie and being freaked the hell out. 

Dave Todd: I remember watching my first episode of the Simpsons on my grandparents giant 20″ cathode tv. It was raining outside. I remember that because it was raining in the episode where Bart nearly gets murdered by the psycho babysitter.

Phil Calloway: Started watching in high school in the early 90’s (we’re a touch behind in Aus) and the first ep that I can remember is “Bart the General” Being a lover of “Revenge of the Nerds” & “The A Team” I was pumped when the kids formulate a plan to take down Nelson with a surgical strike. “I’d rather they said, Death from above”.

BT Calloway: Downstairs family room, Hudson NC USA, “Bart the General”. Every joke since then has been catalogued and filed.

Jordan Frost: I remember watching bits and pieces when it was syndicated on channel 10 here after the news. I think Neighbours was before? The one that’s always stuck with me as I think my earliest memory was the one where Bart tries to train Santa’s Little Helper to stop Homer giving him away, and you see from the dog’s point of view, Bart giving this heartfelt speech about how if only he could understand him but all the dog hears is “blah blah blah blah blah sit” as it eventually clicks. It’s stuck with me ever since. 

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I remember being in the car with Mum when I was about 4 or 5 and she said something like “A few friends at work are raving about this show called ‘The Simpsons’ so we’re all going to watch it tonight”. I think it could be my earliest memory. 

BT Calloway.jpg

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
BT Calloway

In the ruins of the old world, society must fight against the creatures who perpetrated the blast, but while they can take human form, they have no access to our entertainment history. Thus a new language of quotes will be born to prove your humanity, quotes only those raised in the before time of TV will know, now that there is no more TV. This language will be Simpsonic. ~BT Calloway

“Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence” …Have you ever found yourself making decisions based on a Simpsons character, or lessons the show illustrated? How has The Simpsons been an influence in your life or creativity?

Elliot Jay O’Neill: Well to this day I never do what Donny Don’t does! But seriously, The Simpsons taught me what satire was before I knew how to spell. It was integral in developing my sense of humour growing up.

Jordan Frost: I think I’ve more often tried NOT to make decisions based on what I’ve seen in the Simpsons! I know I tried Skittlebrau once, and that was a bad decision. It’s been an influence because it helps you relate to people and find new friends with good senses of humour!

BT Calloway: “My ‘what would Ralph do?’ phase ended in nothing but a bent Wookie.

Dave Todd: The Simpsons has been one of the biggest influences in my life. That is to say TV was my other parent while my mother worked double shifts in the ICU. Every element of a family was there, albeit in caricature, but I think that the satire played into each role (that is to say the over exaggeration of a trope character trait) whether it was father, mother, brother or sister was a great magnifying glass over family interaction & I definitely used that as a touchstone a lot while I was growing up. Also, I view the Simpsons as a fairly even representation of my own life. I’ll never have more or less than exactly what I need to continue being Dave. (Also Simpsons quotes took over that part of my brain that could math, so yeah, I don’t math good).

Shayna: The Simpsons influences me DAILY, mainly through language. We all know that there’s a Simpsons quote for everything, and I swear I must say at least one a day. Growing up, my mum always used to say “I wish you could remember your school work the way you remember The Simpsons!” 

Liz: I quote the Simpsons often, I find that it fosters a sense of camaraderie amongst other Simpsons lovers or I seem like I have a quick wit and good sense of humour to people that don’t get the reference.

Shayna Frost.jpg

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Shayna Frost

Cartoons have the power to make us laugh and to make us cry”…Hypothetical Situation: Society is ending! You have to preserve the culture of the United States, by rocketing 5 episodes of The Simpsons into space, what would they be? How would you make your decisions? Do they have anything in common?

BT Calloway: “Homer at Bat”, “Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in ‘The Curse of the Flying Hellfish’ “, “Bart the General”, “Lisa the Beauty Queen”, “Marge Vs. the Monorail”. This is based on the episodes we’ve reviewed is the correct answer, though I’d pocket “You Only Move Twice”.

Jordan Frost: Oh gosh. I don’t think I could pick. I mean, there’s a couple that jump out – Bart Sells His Soul, “You Only Move Twice”, “22 Short Films About Springfield”, “Marge vs The Monorail”, “Homer the Heretic”. Oh wait! That’s five! On a different day I’d probably change my mind but that’s what I have for now. I think it comes down to how quotable they are, whether you connected with the story at all, whether the humour still resonates today.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I’m Australian so “Bart VS Australia”.

Australian flag.jpg

National Pride


“The sober ying to my raging yang” …When have you been as thoughtful as Lisa? Have you ever been as selfish as Mr. Burns?

Dave Todd: selfish as mr burns is easy. I ‘stole’ candy from a child. I watched the kid leave it behind while I was at work. I said nothing knowing that I could claim it as my own. Which I did. I ate the candy, played with the little plastic toys & had a great time. The next day I looked at the empty crumpled bag & laughed to myself.
On the Lisa side of things, I saw a little old lady struggling to step down off a curb to cross the street. People were ignoring the shit out of her & it pissed me off. I helped her across the street & walked her straight to her doctor appointment. I feel like I do enough of both to make myself neutral.

Liz:  I try to be like Lisa as often as I can, fair and intelligent in all my decisions. Don’t we all have evil Mr. Burns thoughts sometimes though? Now what was I laughing about? Oh right! That crippled Irishman! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Dave Todd.JPG

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Dave Todd

“Worst Episode Ever” …You get to be the guest star on the first episode of the season. What’s your character, what’s the story?

Shayna:  My character is just me – a mediocre mixed race woman of no particular skill or beauty, no sex tape, no famous husband…but I have a wildly successful reality TV show. People watch me do regular every day things: buy groceries, watch TV, take my dog for a walk. And then I do that at Chez Simpsons. Truly the worst episode ever. It tanks.

Dave Todd: I’m a random corpse that shows up at their house & they have to get rid of my body because Chief Wiggum is coming over for dinner

Phil Calloway: “Cafe Later Alligator” A mysterious yet charming stranger known as Winchester Van-Heusen arrives in town. Setting up an on trend coffee shop. While his raging success is greeted with jealousy from Homer and his new ‘Thick & Black” coffee van, the rest of the town starts a love affair with coffee and Winchester is given the key to the city as Springfield is declared the “3rd most coffeelishous town south of New York”.
Mistrustful of this new interloper, Homer follows Winchester home on night to discover the dark side of coffee is Winchesters  actual plan is to kidnap all the cats in Springfield.!! (As stressed cat lovers  consume more coffee) The conflict comes to a head when the town discovers , through a series of mysterious events, that Winchester is actually an ex CEO of a cigarette company looking for the next addictive—but legal don’t forget legal—drug to peddle to the masses.
Lisa has a moral issues with exposing the rackets, because the coffee lifestyle fuels her playwriting and gives jobs to failed commercial bankers after the GFC stock market crash of  2005(?). Bart experiments with feeding coffee beans to weasels and then selling the ‘remains’ to the uber hipsters that have travelled to Springfield. Marge takes moral umbrage with all the disposable coffee cups littering the town.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I play a snarky podcaster who runs a website and podcast called “The Itchy & Scratchy Index”. I review and rank episodes of Itchy & Scratchy much to the chagrin of Roger Myers. After the shows ratings start taking a nosedive, Bart & Lisa team up to try to convince me not to be so hard on a show that has been on for 30 years.

Danny Rosewell

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Danny Rosewell

“I’m not a bloody jukebox!” …What’s your favorite musical moment from The Simpsons (either original song, or ‘real’ tune used on the show) what makes it memorable? 

Elliot Jay O’Niell: “Shaving My Shoulders” is Homer’s best song parody. It goes for like 5 seconds yet it gets stuck in my head all the time. It is simply perfect.

Danny Rosewell: I don’t think I’ve even MET anybody who doesn’t know all the words to both the Monorail Song and the Dalmatians song!

Jordan Frost: For original music, I don’t think I can go past “We Put the Spring In Springfield”. It’s just such a fun song and they have so much fun with all the old school vaudeville humour. For non-original, it’s probably not a very famous one, but for sure, in BART ON THE ROAD, there’s a shot of the four boys cruising along a country road and “Radar Love” by Golden Earring is playing. The animation is pretty cool too, moving around the car, and it’s always stuck with me as the quintessential road trip song.

BT Calloway: “Oh please, wont you see myyyy veeeeeeest! / I really like the vest!

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Clare RR: Honestly the one that has stuck in my memory the best is the always classic Monorail song. I mean…it’s just an incredibly catchy tune and it’s a fantastic episode. What more can I say? The mob has spoken.

Phil Calloway: It’s very hard to go past “See My Vest” by Mr. Burns, it’s just so damn catchy I found myself singing it for days after I see that episode. I also sing it every time I see someone wearing loafers.

Dave Todd: That beautiful theremin & church bell 1950’s sci-fi sound that plays in every treehouse of horror opening sequence.

Shayna: This is so hard because there are so many. But I have it narrowed down to two…or maybe three. The first is “A Chorus Line” at the end of “Treehouse of Horror V”, for obvious reasons. They’re inside out!! The second is “The Amendment Song”, because when I was younger, I didn’t understand the song’s meaning and this is a classic example of how beautifully The Simpsons works. When I was a kid, I didn’t get it at all because understanding the American Constitution just isn’t something on the radar of an Australian child. Then as I grew older, the song became really funny to me as I gained an understanding on US politics, and this is something that happens throughout the original Simpsons. And the third is “Paint a Wagon” because it’s just a brilliant parody.

Liz: This is a 3-part tie between “Dr. Zeus, Dr. Zeus”, “Lisa it’s your birthday”, and “See My Vest”. I know that’s breaking the rules but just chalk it up to one of my many enormous flaws that I don’t work on! Dr. Zeus is just brilliant because, fuck yeah, Planet of the Apes! Lisa It’s Your Birthday, is an ear-worm that you won’t be rid of for at least a week, and you won’t be mad about that in the slightest! And, See My Vest was an unexpected delight when I first heard it. Mr. Burns’ evil plan to kill puppies turned into a Disney song, sheer brilliance.here's a phone.jpg

“Here’s a phone, call somebody who cares” …Is there a Simpsons joke or line that works as shorthand or ‘code’ among your friends/family?

Liz: Whenever we eat steak my husband always says, “Mmmm steaky”. I sometimes say that “we’re in a very sticky, nutty, chewy   situation”. I don’t know why those are both food related.

Dave Todd: at work if I tell someone they’ve got a nice dental plan they know their buttcrack is showing.

Phil Calloway: I think we trot out the old “stupid like a fox”.

BT Calloway: In the future, an EMP will wipe out all electronics and delete all data. In the ruins of the old world, society must fight against the creatures who perpetrated the blast, but while they can take human form, they have no access to our entertainment history. Thus a new language of quotes will be born to prove your humanity, quotes only those raised in the before time of TV will know, now that there is no more TV. This language will be Simpsonic. Should you, for example, request entry into one of the last human settlements you may be asked “I specifically said no geeks!” if you do not reply with “But my mom says I’m cool!” we will release the hounds.

Danny Rosewell:  I think The Simpsons is more than a series of in-jokes, now – it’s become a sort of meta-language that a certain generation speaks in as much (if not more) than standard, universal english! but yes. “… my wife is going to kill me.” (-Prof. Frink, upon the tragic death of his son), OR “Does THIS look like the face of a man who’s had *ALL* he can eat?” (-Lionel Hutz, on Homer’s tragic, unrequited hunger).

Elliot Jay O’Neill: In The Simpsons Index podcast we constantly reference the moment in “Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie” where the nerd at the Q&A points out that Itchy played Scratchy’s rib like a xylophone and he struck the same rib twice but it produced two different tones. We reference this moment when one of us is being a bit pedantic, petty or anal retentive about a minor error in an episode.

Clare RRR

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Clare RR

“$18 bucks for this? What a rip-off!” …Do you or have you ever owned any Simpsons tchotchkes? Shirts, trading cards, DVDs, action figures, ‘hand-drawn animation cells guaranteed to increase in value’, etc… what’s your favorite legit or bootleg stuff?

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I don’t actually wear my Simpsons fandom on my sleeve. Having said that, I do have a shirt with Milhouse’s skull. Other than that, I’ve bought all the DVD’s and BT gave me this little golden Homer Buddha statue which is displayed in The Dank. Oh and the video games, I’ve pretty much played all of them but I do have a particular fondness for Simpsons Hit & Run and if the original 4 player arcade cabinet was on sale for a decent price I would totally jump on it.

BT Calloway: My Bort name tag, Duff beer cozy, Simpsons socks, and fond memories of a Simpsons colouring book from my youth. Bart’s Nightmare took up a good portion of my early years too, that game was great.

Clare RR: You know funnily enough I’ve never really been much of a collector of Simpsons merch. I think I’ve always found seeing the Simpsons family in 3D to be unsettling, so it put me off most of the figurines and dolls. Despite that I’d always buy Simpsons show bags from the Easter Show but I have to say I don’t have any strong memories of what was in them. Cheap plastic crap I assume. I have most of the early seasons on DVD though and I recently received an incredibly comfy oversized Simpsons t-shirt as a birthday present last year.

EDITORIAL BY JRCWhat the heck is a Show Bag?:

Pill Calloway: In high school I did rock a much loved “Bartman” T-shirt, I also had another Bart T, that didn’t even have a simpson quote on it, but did have bart saying “Yo my name is bart and I’m here to say that I’m fresh and chilling the homeboy way’—I never understood where that came from or if it was a ripoff or not.

Dave Todd: I’ve had a posable rubber Bart & homer doll. I’ve got most of the Simpsons albums. I have ‘the book of Bart’ on my bookshelf currently.

Shayna: I had HEAPS of Simpsons stuff as a kid, toys, colouring books (my favourite page was Bart lying naked on a towel and I drew poop coming out of his butt. Classic me), the usual. I do own all DVDs up to Season 12, but my most favourite piece of Simpsons merch is the “Bort” Kwik-E-Mart pin that I bought (along with Elliot, Jordan, and BT) in Universal Orlando! But the BIGGEST Simpsons rip-off that I ever paid for (well, it was free and I had none of my own money at the age of 7) was a Simpsons stage show I saw at a shopping centre. It was EXACTLY like when the Simpsons see the Bonanza stage show, and the whole audience was like…bonanza.jpg

“That was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I’ve ever seen” …Which season of Classic Simpsons is the best? In your opinion, when did the classic era end—what was the last good episode?

Dave Todd: classic era is season 2 thru 9. Best season – Aaaarrrrgghh I hate this. Just take seasons 5,6 & 7, jumble them up on a table, pass me a Monkey’s Paw with one wish left. I’ll spin it like a bottle & whichever season it’s outstretched grizzled finger is closest to will be my answer.

BT Calloway: The Classic Era ends after season 10 because Homer to the Max damn well deserves to be called a classic, as for the last good episode we’re trying to answer that, but at the moment it’s either “500 Keys” from S22 or “The Book Job” S23.

Jordan Frost: This is such a struggle, but I think I need to say Season 8 has just some absolute killer episodes. Scorpio, Grimey, Larry Burns, Johnny Cash as a coyote, X-Files, The Omni-net, Poochie… It has it’s missteps of course but when it lands, boy does it just absolutely knock it out of the park.
The last good episode is a hard one! There are still some decent episodes in season 12 and while they lack the punch of earlier seasons, I’m going to go with Trilogy of Error just because I love Linguo so much.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: Tricky question. I tend to agree with the sentiment that “The Principal & The Pauper” is the bookend of the “Classic” years but there are still episodes that I would consider “Classic” all the way up to season 12, even though seasons 9-12 aren’t as consistently brilliant as the earlier seasons.
As for when the last ‘good’ episode aired… They are still airing good episodes. The most recent episode that we gave a good ranking was season 28’s “There Will Be Buds” which got 3 x Bronze and 1 x Silver from our panel.
There is absolutely no doubt that these good “HD Era” episodes are few and far between in a sea of bad, awful and at times, offensive episodes but hey, that’s part of why we are making The Simpsons Index; To give a guide to those people that only want to watch the good episodes… or only the bad episodes, what do I care?

Jordan Frost.jpg

Self-portrait via Frinkiac by
Jordan Frost

“…we saw “Bart The General”, and it was like watching a completely different show to what came later – but in a wonderful, touching way! the characters were complex, sweet, and well rounded, the camera angles were trying different things, the show was clearly experimenting and finding it’s feet…” ~Danny Rosewell

“We should thank our lucky stars they’re still putting on a program of this caliber after so many years” …What was the last Classic Simpsons episode you watched?

Elliot Jay O’Neill: After we finished recording the podcast featuring “Lisa’s Date eith Destiny”, I continued watching that season 8 disc and the last episode I watched from that was “Mountain of Madness”, I cannot wait to review it for the Index.

Danny Rosewell: being a Simpsons critic and reviewer, we’re watching classic (and new) era Simpsons pretty regularly now, but recently we saw “Bart The General”, and it was like watching a completely different show to what came later – but in a wonderful, touching way! the characters were complex, sweet, and well rounded, the camera angles were trying different things, the show was clearly experimenting and finding it’s feet, and yet there was a depth and intelligence to it that felt really engaging and rewarding to watch! Truly, an elegant weapon from a more civilized age.

Jordan Frost: Only recently we watched Lisa the Beauty Queen while I was STAGGERINGLY intoxicated and apparently I could not shut up about how beautiful I thought this represented the Homer/Lisa father-daughter relationship. How can you not with quotes like “Well if I could gouge out somebody else’s eye’s out and shove them into my sockets I would; but to me, she’s beautiful!”

BT Calloway: We’re recording the podcast tonight so… that one.

Clare RR: The last Classic Simpsons episode I watched would have been be season 4 episode 4 “Lisa the Beauty Queen”, recently reviewed on The Simpsons Index episode 36. It’s classy to shamelessly promote my mate’s podcast in this interview, right? In all seriousness though since I’ve started looking at The Simpsons with a critical eye I’ve been avoiding rewatching my old favourites too much. I think my reviewing is better when I haven’t seen it a dozen times in the last month.

Dave Todd: honestly I can’t remember. I watch eps from seasons 2-9 every day after work. They all kind of blur together along with my sense of what day, month & year it is. I’m sure if I think hard enough I’ll remember how old I am.

“There were script problems from day one” …Do you ever watch Simpsons with commentary on? What’s the neatest thing you’ve learned from the crew…

Dave Todd: yes. Only when I’m alone because others tend not to like it. The most interesting things are when the writers notice weird stuff that I noticed ages ago & was like ‘I wonder if anyone else noticed that’.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I do quite a lot. I learnt that the staff are shockingly cavalier about the poor quality of the later seasons.

old favorites.jpg

“Let’s just say it moved me—to a bigger house!” …Hypothetical Question: Lets say I don’t watch post-season 10 episodes. Tell me about your favorite newer Simpsons episode, and persuade me to give it a try.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: Haha I say go to my website thesimpsonsindex.com to see which episodes we recommend 😛 But seriously I’d say at least watch seasons 11 & 12 because they are on par with 9 & 10. Also season 22 is worth checking out as I reckon it’s the last season with more good than bad episodes.

BT Calloway: *gasp* you mean you know not of the tomacco? Or Stupid Sexy Flanders? “Weekend at Burnsies” might be my fave post S10, highly quotable, loads of fun and- WE HAVE A KITCHEN!?

Dave Todd: I don’t think I have one.

que sera sera.jpg

“Well, that’s the end of me” …You’re going to write the last Simpsons episode. What happens, how does it end?

Shayna: Easy – CLIP SHOW. Followed by an apology for seasons 13 onwards.

Dave Todd: one answer, and no ones going to like it. Clip-show.

BT Calloway: The threat of a potential meltdown at the power plant forces everyone to stay indoors, reactions from the town are televised and naturally watched by the Simpsons as the crisis unfolds. The Simpsons spend almost the entire episode on the couch, as it should be.

Liz: I’m not going to pretend that I wrote this, but as soon as I read it, I couldn’t help but agree, and I’m sure you will too –  the best ending for the simpsons that any of us will ever dream of was written by a guy called /U/LittleMonkey69, in 2004:

The show begins with the family watching Itchy and Scratchy. They announce that the show is coming to an end and the entire family gasps in horror. They then announce that the last episode will be aired in a years time, and until then, a contest will be running; this contest will offer the winner the chance to write what will happen in the finale. The entire Simpson family applies. Krusty is in charge of choosing the winner. He falls in love with one of the Simpson’s idea and puts it in winners box. He makes a mistake though, he puts all five of their ideas in the box by accident. He goes on his show to announce the winner and pulls out five cards out of the box. Stumped, he reads all five names out, “Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.” Flash forward a year later and Bart is in class describing his take on the Itchy and Scratchy finale to Milhouse, while showing us Itchy and Scratchy with Bart’s voice-over. He finishes and the class is silent, Edna Krabappel is staring at him and says, “After-school detention.” The scene then cuts to the power plant and Homer is describing his finale to Lenny and Carl. He finishes, a bell rings and he gets in a radiation suit. The scene cuts to a supermarket and Marge is describing her take to Helen Lovejoy, she finishes and strolls Maggie in the trolley to another aisle. Here, Maggie sees the unibrow baby and starts describing her take via waving and motioning. She finishes and the scene cuts to Lisa, she begins describing her take to Sherri and Terri. She finishes and picks up her saxophone to go to music practice. She walks in the music room sits down and then sees the time. She realizes the show is going to be on in ten minutes. She plays the Itchy and Scratchy melody on her sax and bolts out. It cuts to Bart, he’s writing on the black board: “I will not talk in class ever again” he hears a bell, realizes the time and runs out. Cut to Homer holding some plutonium at a conveyor belt when a bell rings at the plant and he too realizes the time and runs off, dropping some plutonium. Cut to the supermarket and we see Marge and Maggie checking out and running through the exit doors. Cut to a birds eye view of their home and we see everyone rushing to take a seat in the couch. They look at each other, they smile, the Itchy and Scratchy music plays, and it cuts to credits.

Elliot Jay O’Neill: I really love the idea that I think Al Jean had where the last shot is The Simpson family driving to the Springfield Elementary Christmas Play to bring the series full circle.
But if it were up to me I would say if they could just do a simple episode with a rift in The Simpsons family that caused them all to be mad at each other. Some set of events where they are embarrassed as a family and all 5 of them had an equal part in causing the problem. Then they each go to seek solace from some of the supporting cast eg Bart from Milhouse, Homer from Moe, Marge from Patty & Selma, Lisa from Principal Skinner, Maggie from… I dunno Santa’s Little Helper? Anyway the idea being that it gives them an opportunity for each character to learn about how individually, their strengths and weaknesses are balanced out in this family unit that manages to function (Albeit just barely). I know it’s sweet, saccharin, schmaltzy stuff but to me it would be a way for The Simpsons to pay tribute to where the show started in the first seasons with stories about a family that were really flawed but also, really loved each other.

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Thanks to everyone at The Simpsons Index for being so generous with their time in answering our fan questionnaire. New episodes of their podcast come out every week, why not try give it a try? Look up your favorite Simpsons ep’, and listen on the way to work. If they haven’t talked about your favorite story yet, nominate it during one of their calls on Facebook/Twitter, and maybe you’ll win a surprise box too!

I like The Simpsons fan community because of its creativity, diversity, and we’re supportive of each other’s efforts. Even if fans disagree on finer points of the series, we generally get along well, and like discussing new opinions and ideas about it. Discovering how other fans see the show can be mindblowing, like eating Guatemalan Insanity Peppers. It’s also not surprising that Simpsons fans are generally really imaginitive and doing other creative stuff–making those connections is inspiring. Hopefully, these Q&A sessions will turn into a semi-regular feature of our blog.  ~JRC

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March Trivia Recap: Hooray for Everything!

March 2017 Trivia came just 3 short weeks after the February show because JRC wanted to go see his favorite local wrestling federation’s regular monthly event …

I don't really, I just like the theater

yes yes, we all know the joke

The weather on The Coronado patio was perfect, and the crowd had some new contestants, plus a couple folks we haven’t seen in awhile. It was a great show!

For the mid-competition solo contest we played pictionary.

Not a cool cat.

DIGNITY!

Luckily no one’s marriage came undone, and everyone who played got a special button!

Making Gudger Proud!

This cat knows what it is!

Here’s all the winning teams…

All I've done so far is enter my name!

Best Team Name:
The Thrillho Experience!

big okilly dokilly to our 3rd place team!

3rd Place w/ 56 points: Test Toasters!

hey you over there in the bushes

2nd Place w/ 70 points:
The Moe Syzslak Experience Featuring Homer

I love Grimby

1st Prize, w/ 87 points out of 100:
The Mayor Quimby for Mayor Committee

How about some questions from the quiz, to test yourself against?
(highlight between the parenthesis to see the answer)

When Mr. Burns is infatuated with Marge, he kidnaps this musician in an attempt to impress her. (Tom Jones)
When Bart has won the $10,000 (or an elephant) on KBBL’s contest, what is Marge’s exciting idea for spending the money? (Double-ply windows)
Nelson can think of at least two things wrong with the title of this arthouse movie. (Naked Lunch)
What is the name of this dog…

that's a tough one for ya!

(Bobo)

Thanks to everyone who came out! We’ll be back on Saturday April 29 at 8pm with another round of Classic Simpsons trivia, great food, and fun! If you like what we’re doing, please invite your friends, and support The Coronado too, who’ve been great to us!

Hoverbikes!

who do you love?

 

Posted in Classic Simpsons, Contemporary, live show, trivia | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment