Love in the Time of Scurvy; As You Wish

- Not just your basic, average, everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum fairy tale.

Heroes. Giants. Villains. Wizards. True Love…
It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the ’80s.

FLIM Springfield hasn’t done a recasting in a long while, but one genre we’d been talking about covering was comedy. What surprising is, it’s a little hard to recast a comedy with characters from a comedy show. Luckily, our buddy Johnny Grind from The Grind Corps Podcast had the perfect candidate, a film he loves, and is universally loved as one of the best modern comedies. Without further ado, we’ll let Johnny himself introduce our recasting of 2018…

Hi, I’m Johnny Grind! You may remember me from such podcasts as The Grind Corps Podcast. Uncle Diana/Weener, JRC, Frost (one of the hosts for GCP) and myself have done a couple of episodes on the podcast where we talked about The Simpsons and they informed me/us about this game where they recast an entire movie with Simpsons characters. We took a shot (no pun intended) at Aliens with not much in-depth thought just to see if we could whip up something quickly. We then talked about other movies they did and somehow, The Princess Bride came up and I said that I would LOVE to help out with that movie. So, on that note…

Whenever a book is adapted into a movie, people always say, “The book was better.” At first glance, this was exactly that. It bombed in ticket sales at the theaters. It wasn’t until VHS and home viewings became a thing that it really ignited the spark for this one. That’s how I came across this movie. It starts off as a child, played by Fred Savage, is home from school due to sickness. That’s probably how I found out about this movie, too. Just a regular kid, home from school, can’t sleep from being under the weather, so let’s watch a movie… Little did I know, this would be a movie that would keep me awake for the duration because it was so captivating! (Essay continued after gifs)


Bart Simpson as
the Grandson (Fred Savage)

Bart’s just lucky his grandpa didn’t buy this book at the bait shop!


Abe Simpson as
the Grandfather (Peter Falk)

Abe loved Matlock, no word on if he was a Colombo fan. Think warm thoughts, boy, because this book is mighty cold!


Malloy as Westley (Carey Elwes) 
Yeah, I know, but picture Malloy about 50 years younger and it’s perfect. No one else in Springfield is this suave.


Teenage Marge as Buttercup (Robin Wright)
Why do birds Suddenly appear…


Hans Sprungfeld as Inigo Montoya
(Mandy Patinkin)

Sort of heroic yet sleazy, Montoya would definitely kick the shit out of George Washington if he was his father’s killer.


Dr. Hillbilly as Fezzik (Andre the Giant)
A kind giant, not like the Iron Yuppie, who thinks he’s so big.


Artie Ziff as Vizzini (Wallace Shawn)
Diminutive, annoying, and thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room.


Cecil Terwilliger as Prince
Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon)

Evil, but able to mask it temporarily with his refined demeanor.


Dr. Marvin Monroe as Count Rugen
After his success with his controversial life-sucking device, he went on to develop the Monroe Box to test his theory that torturing a child would make them maladjusted and resentful.


Groundskeeper Willie as Yellin
(Malcom Storry)

“Willie! Guard the castle doors!”
“Willie hears ya, Willie don’t care.”


Dr. Nick as Miracle Max (Billy Crystal)
Dr. Nick is a quack, but occasionally performs miracles that other doctors are too “qualified” or “ethical” or “expensive” to pull off. Both have upgraded a victim’s condition from “dead” to “mostly dead”.


Mrs. Glick as Valerie (Carol Kane)
When you need someone to put their foot down, you can’t do better than an old crone, Florin and Springfield’s finest.



Agnes Skinner as the Ancient Booer (Margery Mason)
Shrill and excessively negative, but this lamb of god ultimately tells it like it is: Buttercup will never be Princess of the line.


Reverend Lovejoy as the Impressive
Clergyman (Peter Cook)

Religious figureheads who’re asleep at the podium. Lovejoy also had some sweet sideburns when he was still young and optimistic.


“Can I come too?” lady as
The Queen (Anne Dyson)

Both seem like nice ladies who honestly deserved better. I bet “Can I come too?” lady’s kids never even take her to the liquor store to buy beef jerky, or a nice royal wedding.


Old Jewish Man as
The King (Willoughby Gray)

“It’s a royal wedding,
put on your tuxedo.”
I want some taquitos.”


Smithers as the Albino (Mel Smith)
Totally unscrupulous because his boss is too. Probably partial to Jolly Ranchers.

Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…

So what makes it so “captivating,” you ask? The story had and has everything: humorous one liners, a great cast of colorful characters and icons of the decade (E.G. Fred Savage, Andre the Giant, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane), and of course, as the grandfather says: Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…

Side Note: Director Rob Reiner just finished This is Spinal Tap, a mock-umentary of a fictitious band that everyone thought was the real deal. You may know the bassist, Harry Shearer, as many of the voices provided for The Simpsons! Christopher Guest is also in This is Spinal Tap and portrays “The 6 Fingered Man” in The Princess Bride.

and we thought they knew how to rock in Shelbyvill!

The Taps on tour in Springfield USA, circa 1991.

Fun Trivia: Guest has a scene in “Tap” about amplifiers that go to 11… in The Princess Bride, he has a total of 11 fingers. Coincidence? You be the judge.

I wanna take this time to thank Diana and JRC for allowing me to do this and I hope we can do this again in the future! Also, if you haven’t already, please check out the episodes featuring these 2 lovelies on The Grind Corps Podcast (Grind Corps on Itunes)

“As you wish.”

About OneWordLong

I'm a storytelling artist and writer. I make collage, transmedia art projects, write essays and cultural analysis. In addition to I also co-curate
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